oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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