My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize