She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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