this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
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my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
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There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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