You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize