I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize