So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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