just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize