when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize