can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
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I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
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I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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