if you like me you must not know who I am
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize