One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I wish you could order shots online.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
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