it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
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Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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