the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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