So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
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She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
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Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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