Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize