and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize