Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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