remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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