dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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