...so i touched it.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
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He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
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alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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