Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
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