Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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