Nicole vs. Life
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize