Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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