I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
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You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
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I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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