Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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