New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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