I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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