I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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