Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
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Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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