The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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