Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
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He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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