theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
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next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
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You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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