I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
another moral hangover. fuck.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
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I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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