i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
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She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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