You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize