I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
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For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
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Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize