We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
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When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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