distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
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Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
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My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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