I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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