She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize