It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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