Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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