GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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