you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
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Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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