you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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