you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize