Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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