Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
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Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
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He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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